C’est la vie

I miss my best friend. I miss having that person you can call up and bitch to/cry to/laugh with/be a spaz with. Out of everything that has changed in my life, I really miss her. I miss hearing about her life. I miss our antics. I miss the absurd love of Sex and the City. I miss that person that loved me, even though I was obviously insane. I doubt things can be fixed. I needed her out of my life so that I could get things in order at that time. I just wish it didn’t have to be that way. Going nuclear on our friendship was awful. I didn’t know how to talk to people then. I didn’t know how to communicate what I needed.

I was angry for awhile and that’s finally gone. The pride has dissipated and I’m left with the regret. I’m lonely without her. Nobody is her. No one can replace her. I think I’m still grieving the loss. I guess I’m just lucky to have had a friendship like that. I had a partner in crime. Someone who knew what I was thinking and usually found it hilarious. I may have treated that relationship as a crutch and not appreciated it and didn’t respect either of us like I should have. I miss her and I still love her. Anyone who has had a best friend like that knows what I’m talking about. C’est la vie.

Good luck to her and I hope the best for her.

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