I find that my beliefs are mixed and not fully set on many things. I believe in karma, good and bad. I believe in God. I believe he created this magnificent universe and then gave us free will to go about our business. I do not believe that God punishes or rewards you for your actions, merely that the positive and negative energy that you put into the world comes back to you. I do not believe in fate, I think our future is not set but I do believe that people are made for certain things and they have to figure that out.
The things I went through as a child have made me believe that I am meant to use those experiences and the knowledge I’ve gained from my journey in a positive manner. I haven’t quite figured out what that means yet but I know I will.
Karma is usually my wakeup call. It comes at me with a vengeance sometimes. I am someone who cannot think negative thoughts or do lousy things or avoid doing the right thing. If any of these things occur, most assuredly the negative energy will come back at me tenfold. If I park in a no parking zone ten minutes before the acceptable parking hours begin, I will receive a parking ticket. If I skip a class, that will be the bulk of what the exam will be over. If I think a negative thought enough, it will come to fruition. Karma kicks me and shows me that I am to get back on the straight and narrow and that I need to continue to figure out what I’m meant for.
Well the other day, karma got ahold of me in a big way. I was on my way to the airport for a vacation and instead I wrecked my car. It was a jolt of reality. I literally went head on into a cement barrier. I walked away unscathed, amazingly enough. I count my blessings.
It’s too coincidental that this happened when I was meant to be on a vacation. It was like karma was saying, “You’ve been taking it too easy, not to mention your transgressions over the past few months but you’re going to get the chance to fix this.” It made me take stock and look at my behavior. Now I’m not saying I’ve been an evil monster, but I find myself falling into some old patterns. I’ve put off doing some paperwork for school. I’ve had negative thoughts about people. I haven’t been putting forth my best effort at work. Although, I realized that one and had started to curb my behavior there. I did not help someone when all it would have taken was a few words of explanation. I instantly regretted it when I didn’t say anything, and knew karma was gonna get me for it. And lastly this past summer I was unkind to a friend. I wanted to help her from a situation but my help was twisted and unhealthy (I did not realize this at the time) and it pushed her deeper into a toxic relationship while destroying our friendship.
So driving my car into a cement barrier is a sign that I need to right some of these wrongs. I’ll continue to curb my impatience at work. I will turn in the paperwork to school. I will try to think kinder thoughts about people. I am debating an apology letter to that friend. I don’t really desire a relationship with her anymore, but I do owe her an apology. And because it’s time to put some more good energy out there, I think I’m going to start volunteering again. Any suggestions for organizations that are near and dear to your heart would be appreciated.
Now I’m always open to other people’s view points on religion and karma and their beliefs in general so if you’d like to share, I’d like to hear. I’d just like to keep it respectful.
Here’s Harry again to remind me and maybe you, that you gotta get up and gotta get out there….