A Clean Slate

I will say that the biggest difference I have noticed in the past week is that I am not angry anymore. I’m not talking about the every day annoyed or frustrated anger, I still get those haha. I’m talking about a deep seated, always close to the surface, just pissed off anger. I’ve lived with that kind of anger for years. After talking to my parents, it’s gone.

I finally acknowledged the anger and have been working on it for months in counseling. I knew it was holding me back from many things. It’s kept me from being close to important people in my life. It’s kept me from excelling in school and from excelling in my occupation. Anger can be consuming. I didn’t realize how full of anger I was until now. I didn’t realize how much space it was taking up.

I just feel free. My life was so filled with anger and now I can fill that allotted space with a million other healthy things. I just gotta get out there and do it. I don’t have too much else to say. I’m just kinda happy for the first time in my life and it has nothing to do with anyone else but myself. It feels pretty good….

I think I’m going to drop down to posting once a month, unless I have something very insightful to say haha. I have a feeling that I’ll be finding a new direction to take this blog, hopefully in a more helpful to others way. Thank you to everyone who has been reading and commenting. I appreciate your support. Now it’s time for me to pay it forward.

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3 Responses to A Clean Slate

  1. Paul Marsano says:

    Good luck Rachel…onward & upward!!! I’m probably not the warmest & fuzziest uncle you have…but I have always thought you to be a very good person. Your writing is very lucid and I am impressed by your forthrightness. Didn’t realize how much you were dealing with….but, at this point, it seems as if you have come to grips with Rachel and that is always a step in the right direction. You are going to be just fine!!! I am happy that you are happy!

    Paul

    • ryetzer says:

      Thank you Uncle Paul. I think we never really comprehend what others are going through. Life is good and I can’t complain. I’m pretty thankful for that. I’m glad I have people like you in my life who support me 🙂

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