I love my sisters dearly. I’ve always loved them but there have been times where I really didn’t like them. I believe those are called growing pains and good lord we fought when we were young. A lot of times I looked at them like they were a huge burden. My parents made me do a lot for my sisters and I resented it. My sisters also resented it. It made me like a third super bossy parent haha. Nobody wants that in their life.
Now we’re adults and it’s difficult figuring out how we fit into each other’s lives. My youngest sister and I get along really well. She’s there for me and I’m there for her. I’ve realized to not give out advice unless it’s asked for and to not give advice in a judgmental way. Because that would be the pot calling the kettle black. Believe me, I’m a really black pot haha. She listens to me when I’m having a crying jag or I just need to share these insane emotions that I’m feeling. The biggest change is that I’ve started seeing her as an adult. I may have changed her diaper but she’s not in diapers anymore. Relationships change and you have to roll with it.
My middle sister and I don’t have much of a relationship. She sees me as a really black pot and doesn’t care for that much. In her defense, her life has changed dramatically in the past three years and she seems kind of lost. I’ve also been really hard on her at times and I’m truly sorry for that. I took the lead from our parents and I shouldn’t have. I wasn’t aware enough at the time to see how detrimental our parents’ behavior has been on us. I regret that a lot. I have made a concerted effort with her to back off and stay out of her business. She has enough pressure and stress with my dad on her back, she doesn’t need me too. I’ll always be there for her and hopefully we’ll build a relationship too. If we don’t, I’ll still be her big sister who loves her and believes in her.
This journey has helped me to reexamine a lot of the relationships in my life. My treatment of the people I care about has not always been stellar. I’m trying to make an amends for that. All I can do is say I’m sorry and to be open to a fresh start. To reduce my judgment, increase my listening and to be truly supportive are my three main goals and hopes for the future with my sisters.