I went out dancing Friday night. I expected just to have dinner with my friend and her girlfriend and then to go back home and continue pining for my guy. True to form, KP had something else in mind. I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that saying “no” to her is not an option. She’s someone who can never sit still for long and who is always looking for something to do. She’s a hard worker and she enjoys life. I’m thinking I should start adopting the go-getter style of life, rather than sticking with my current lifestyle of waiting for things to come my way.
Anyway, she had a list of options for the evening but decided on hanging with friends and then making sure we all went out dancing. I didn’t even try to say no but it would have been nice if I had at least showered before all this. That’s what I get for self-pitying and wallowing haha. I met a new group of people, I went to a bar and I danced. It was awkward at first because people were just kinda standing there sorta moving. I wished I would have let loose a little more. I definitely danced. I didn’t go as crazy as I did in my drinking days but I was moving. Those darn inhibitions.
About 20min in I started to feel sad. Even though he would probably never set foot on a dance floor, I really started to miss him and wish he was there with me. I really just want that one person to share it all with. I had a teary moment in the bathroom and a whiny text to KP but then I just decided “Fuck IT!” What’s the point in doing new things and meeting new people if you don’t enjoy it? I can still be sad but that doesn’t have to ruin my whole evening. I just kept dancing. We Run the Night came on and I let loose a little more. I did the Wobble and I danced to some disco. I took a breather and kinda disengaged myself for a bit.
Next time I’m wearing a pair of heels, some nice clothes and I’ll be showered haha. I need a little fun here and there. I need to let loose and dance. I was told I could be a member of the group if I came back. It feels nice to know that I can be liked by people. I just need to open up a little more and to not close myself off. I have to trust. I have to learn how to be a friend and how to accept friendship. I think I can do that, more importantly I want to.